My Dear Lover

Today I want to share with you the facts, and also my
advice about something you probably ask yourself a lot of times:

"Should" I Date Others During My Long Distance Relationship?

Well, first I will give you some facts (scientific facts!)
and then I will give my personal advice to you.

Remember the "What Is Wrong With You?" and "What is Wrong With
You? - Part II" lessons that I send to you some time ago?

Well if you don't remember, or even if you want to read them again,
because they have really great advices about the three emotional phases
(Protest, Depression and Detachment) that all of long distance lovers goes
each time we go apart again, you can read them online:
"What Is Wrong With You?" at
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/blog/2005/07/what-is-wrong-with-you.html
and
"What is Wrong With You? - Part II" at
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/blog/2005/07/what-is-wrong-with-you-part-ii.html


Those lessons were based on the study of Dr. Gregory Guldner?
He his the leading authority on long distance
relationships and the author of the most comprehensive study of
long distance relationships
ever completed, "Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide",
that you can find at
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/books/LDR-CompleteGuide.html.
He is is a graduate of Stanford Medical School and Purdue
University's Clinical Psychology Program and he combines his
scientific expertise,interviews with hundreds of couples in
long distance relationships and his own personal
experience into this comprehensive book.


Ok, now that you know who Dr. Gregory Guldner is, I will
give you the scientific facts about Dating Others During an LDR.

Dr. Gregory Guldner made 2 studies, and here are his results:
6-month longitudinal study:
- 30% of couples who dated others broke up
- 27% of couples who did not broke up
- 70% of couples who did not discuss this issue broke up.

Cross sectional study:
- 15% of those who dated others survived LDR
- 48% of those who didn't survived LDR

Humm, to much scientific! you will say.
Ok, let me explain to you the meaning of those numbers:

In the first study: the 6-month longitudinal study we can see that:

The Long Distance Relationship couples that dated others, in a
period of 6 months, 30% of them broke up.

In the Long Distance Relationship couples that did not dated
others, in a period of 6 months, 27% of them broke up.

And notice this, 70% of couples who did not discuss this issue
broke up!

In the second study: "Cross sectional study", the relationships
that at one point were long distance (like the one you and me are
living now), but that now are reunited (the thing you and me want
more) as planned, we can see that:

Only 15% of those who dated others survived LDR and 48% of those
who didn't survived LDR.

The conclusion we can take is that for "kind of" short periods of
time, like six months, it doesn't make to much difference for the
success of the Long Distance Relationship, to date others.
What makes the difference here is not being clear and honest
with the Long Distance Partner,
70% of couples who did not discuss this issue broke up!

Now, for long periods of time, dating others is very very danger
for the success of your Long Distance Relationship! Only 15% survived LDR!

But what makes you "want" to date others while you are in
your Long Distance Relationship?

Is the lake of sex? Is because you like to feel close with another
person?

Weel Long Distance Relationships can be sexually satisfying
as Close Relationships!

What you need to do is to know how to "make love" at telephone
or to write erotic letters, or send erotic pictures or videos to
your beloved.
And for that, my advice, that I higly recommend is the book "Long
Distance LoveMaking" that you can find at
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/books/lovemaking.html.

Now about my own experience?
Do you think that because I am in a Long Distance Relationship I
don't feel sexually attracted by others? Of course I do!
But do I consider the idea of me dating others while I am in my
Long Distance Relationships?

No, no, no. Let me tell you something. At my job there is a man,
that I don't know to explain this, but between me and him there is
such a strong sexual chemistry.

And believe me, between me and my Long Distance Partner, there is
also a strong sexual chemistry, but I think if I made sex with that
man from my job, I guess I would be something even stronger than I
have with my Long Distance Partner.

But do you think that will ever make sex with that man from my job?
Never!

First I really love with all my heart my Long Distance Partner, he
is without any doubt the "true love" of my life. And a
relationship is much more than sex, and you also now that very well!

Second I don't feel that I have sexual insatisfaction in my Long
Distance Relationship.
I do use what I "learn" from the book "Long Distance LoveMaking"
that you can find at
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/books/lovemaking.html.

Now, with this, I am not saying that I agree or disagree with the
ones that make the choice of Dating Others while they are in a Long
Distance Relationship.

It's your choice, and now, you have also the numbers of
the scientific study of Dr. Gregory Guldner and also
my recommend resources.

And if I can be of any more help to you, please let me know!

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

~~~~~~~~~ Todays' My Recommended Resources ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide" from MD, MS,
Gregory Guldner
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/books/LDR-CompleteGuide.html

"Long Distance LoveMaking"
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/books/lovemaking.html

My Dear Lover, today I want to share with you the an article of Debbie Anderson.

~~~~~~~~~ Begin of article ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can You Handle a Long Distance Relationship?
By Debbie Anderson


A long distance relationship will work for you if:

- You trust your partner completely.

- You like to spend time alone.

- You have many outside hobbies and interests

- You're like a sexual camel and can go weeks, if not months,
without sexual intimacy.

- You can afford high speed Internet, are computer literate and
can operate a web cam.

- You love to talk on the phone.

- You know how to turn your lover on over the phone and the Internet.

- You don't feel lonely when out with other couples.

- You have the confidence that you can handle this relationship
well, no matter what comes your way (including a possible
separation.)

- You know how to keep busy.

- You have supportive friends.

A long distance relationship will NOT work for you if:

- You or the other partner has a history of alcoholism or
addiction. Often infidelity and unpredictability accompany these
issues leading to a long-distance catastrophe.

- You or the other partner has a history of manic depression or
depression. Once again infidelity and unpredictability accompany
these disorders.

- You are the third wheel in a love triangle. If he or she is
off to see an ex, a wife or children you might have a problem on
your hands.

- You are an emotionally insecure codependent who suffers from
anxiety if he or she goes to the store, never mind a long ways
away.

- You have a history of jealousy or suspicion.

- You need a hug every day.

- You need sex every day.

- You do not write good letters or don't like communicating via
email or yahoo messenger.

- You don't communicate well on the phone.

- You can't afford a computer or long distance calls.

About the author:
Debbie Anderson is author of: "Love At A Distance - 47 Simple
Ways to Improve Your Long-Distance Relationship Today!" You can
get it free for a limited time at: http://loveatadistance.com

~~~~~~~~~ End of article ~~~~~~~~~~~~~


HOW CAN YOU TRUST YOUR PARTNER COMPLETELY?
Well, you have to "know" your partner!

But you will ask to me: "MARIA, HOW CAN I REALLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO LIVES FAR AWAY?"
Well my answer is: "You have to ask!"

And then you will ask me :"MARIA, HOW DO I ASK, WHAT DO I ASK?"
My answer is: "The best advice I can give you is buy the ebook
1000 Questions for Couples and ask!"

And if I can be of any more help to you, please let me know!

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

P.S. Are you going to ask? Are you affraid of the truth?

My Dear Lover,

Some time ago I found the most "Touch Life" inspirational message
on Internet.

In that day I was feeling so down, like "God had abandoned me", in all ways.

And that message touch me so deep, it was on target, that is why I call it "Touch Life", although the original title is "My Dream With God".

But I didn't bookmark the site, and I end "losing" that message!

Last week I search Internet like crazy, because I really wanted to give you the "Touch Life" message, and finally I end up by finding it again!

Please go now to
http://www.distancelovinghelp.com/touchlife.html.

Let this message "Touch Your Life"!

And share the message with your friends, "Touch Their Lifes" today!

And after please let me know what you did feel. Please post your comments, I would more than love to know the way this message "Touch Your Live".

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

My Dear Lover, this is how I am feeling since the begining of this year...

"If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight"

You see, I am just like you!
I also miss my beloved a lot, a lot, A LOT!
And he is thousand miles away from me!

Until next time, I wish you health, wealth, happiness and
a lot of love!


P.S. My Dear Lover, go to "A Thousand Miles"
to read and listen "A Thousand Miles".

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

Until next time, I wish you health, wealth, happiness and a lot of love!

Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.