My Dear Lover,

In most of the long distance relationships there are times when you
are together and times when you are apart

And also in most of the long distance relationships the time you
are apart is bigger than the time you are together, and probably
you will be between being together and being apart more than once
in your distance relationship.

And I can tell you, because I have been there more than once, that
the experience of being apart after being together, is one of the
most difficult periods in a long distance relationship. It make us
feel so horrible, that sometimes we wonder "what is wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?".

Each time we go apart again, mainly three emotional phases
happens (Protest, Depression and Detachment).

While you were together, you were inseparable, took long walks
together and made all moments count, but now is arriving the time
your beloved as to go away.

It's like something triggers inside you, that say that your beloved
is leaving, and you start the first phase, the Protest.

You fight against the separation in all the ways you can.

You feel terrible, you cry without control, some will be angry with
"life", or even with their beloved, some will hold and kiss each
other like you will never see each other again.

And even at the last moment, when you are at airport, you will
ignore the last calling of the departure, until you finally realize
your beloved really have to leave. Did you ever did this? I did!

But no matter how much you protest to prevent the separation, you
are apart again.

Now comes the second emotional phase of separation, the Depression.

You can't stop crying, you miss your beloved like hell, you can't
sleep, can't eat, lose interest for things, you can't concentrate
in anything, and all you want is to be together with your beloved
all time. And that is natural reaction when you love somebody so
much.

This phase of depression and loneliness can last only some minutes,
but in most cases it will last for several days.

Finally comes the last phase, the Detachment.

You have to continue with your life, even being apart from your
beloved, and being depressed won't bring your beloved back.

And finally the day that you will be together again arrives, and
probably, you will have to go throughout the phases of separation
again and again!

So now that you understand "what's wrong with you?" each time you
have to go through the process of separation, does it means that
you can't do nothing about it?

No, no and no, and next week I will share with you, some things you
can do to soften this process of separation.

But remember, it's a fact that no matter how many times you
go by the experience of separation again and again, nothing
eliminates this three phases. The only thing you can do is to
realize their existence, understand each phase, and take action so
you can make this experience more "soft".


Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.